Installing a red pill lens: seeing the sexual marketplace in high resolution

The map is not the territory:  blue pill conditioning 

The matrix analogy is often used to describe disengaging from an false artificial system of deception and illusion, into entering a world of reality and hidden truth. Most of us live never fully seeing the covert power tactics being played against us within the social & business realm and as a result minimise our potential and enjoyment in life. Being a ‘blue pilled plugged in’ individual means you only see as much as the masses see. To enter ‘red pill reality’ you have to expose yourself to the harsh truths to avoid living a lie and break free from the the conventional social matrix.

‘Installing a red pill lens’ is really downloading the harsh truisms of inter-sexual dynamics and internalising these principles so they alter your personality & thinking to your advantage. The red pill components of inter-gender social dynamics will provide you with a meta-level of awareness many aren’t brave enough to see the world as, which should be exactly as it is.

Dysfunctional compatibility:  Codependents and narcissists 

Children who are raised in a highly dysfunctional love impoverished home who are forced not to have a sense of self, overly empathic, compulsively giving, has poor / no boundaries where the parent-child dynamic reverses and the child emotionally supports the parent to get his / hers physical needs met, will be raised to be codependent… I refer to codependency as ‘shapeshifter syndrome’. Some refer to it as ‘the disease of the lost self’. It is an addiction to external validation and is the bedrock of all addictions.

Children who are ‘over-validated’ or in some cases ‘extremely under-validated’, who are taught that you need to dominate and manipulate others to gain your self-esteem, typically become narcissistic. Characteristics include: pathological envy, crave excessive admiration, little to zero empathy, rage, hyper-dominance, socially exploitative.

These two archetypes are the byproducts of early childhood abandonment trauma, neglect and abuse who feel compelled to be attracted to each other. One constantly gives (the codependent) and one constantly receives (the narcissists).  Both replicate the family of origin dynamic and both personality styles are drawn to one another based on their partners emulating their parental figures traits and creating a sense of familiarity. Freud used to refer to this as the ‘repetition compulsion’. The tendency to repeat the dysfunctional family of origin dynamics in order to find resolution in them.

Detribalise yourself from your family of origins programming:

“Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions — your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.” – The 25# law of power from Robert Greenes book the ‘The 48 laws of power’. 

The word ‘detribalise’ means ‘to forge a new identity by removing ones original cultural identity’.  The map we downloaded as children from our parents isn’t always an accurate blue print of how a relationship should be. Our family of origin is the first place we download our map of the universe and provides us with our belief system version 1.0. As we get older, this first belief system gives birth to what I call our ‘prototype personality’ or ‘personality set point’. This is our default social role we feel the most comfortable being. The problem with these rigid roles as they can really impair our relationships. Given this roles are more survival styles and how we adapted to the stress of the family system.

Typically the healthier psychologically the family is, the more the children will be raised to have naturally strong self-esteem built into them. However, the more psychologically impaired the more the harsher the children will have to adapt to the distressful environment and more dysfunctional the children will grow up to be and more healing will have to be done for that person to naturalise the process of beginning to esteem themselves.  The problem is when this family of origin dynamic goes unconscious and begins to demolish our lives and social interactions with others as we are acting out of the roles which provided us with safety rather than expressing are evolving authentic true selves. Healing is really shedding the behaviours that are dysfunctional and trading them for more functional ways of relating. A great quote what describes this is “When you are evolving to a higher self, the road seems lonely but you’re simply shedding the energies that no longer match the frequency of your destiny.”

Installing a red pill lens:

Accepting female hypergamy & male dominance hierarchies 

A woman’s emotional circuitry is hardwired to select a male of ‘high survival value’. In previous posts I have discussed ‘survival and replication value’ or ‘SRV’. Typically men are biologically programmed to respond to a woman’s beauty, youthfulness, empathy, physical health. Women who possess these qualities high degrees have a ‘high replication value’.

Oppositely women are biologically programmed to be attracted to a man’s with ‘high survival value’.  Men who possess high degrees of survival value have high levels of dominance, status, are tall, are assertive, are confident, leadership skills, mission-driven / goal orientated, physically strong and are socially calibrated. Women are biologically hardwired to respond and be attracted to man’s survival value as this would ensure if became pregnant with a man of this type of man he could ensure her and child’s survival from rival tribes and a chaotic world.

Female hypergamy is the dualistic dating strategy used to prioritise selecting a potential male mate based on different phases in her life.  Women try to optimise there mating strategy to select a mate 2+ points higher than her sexual market value. Within a woman’s years of generally between 20 – 25 see is most will be looking for the most dominant man possible for more short term pleasure, excitement, stimulation and arousal purposes. Around these years a woman will be the most radiant (generally speaking) she will be in her whole life. A 68 year old woman won’t be able to compete on the same level as a 21 year supermodel in terms of having a higher probability of male selection to pair-bond with.  As a woman reaches what people refer to as ‘the wall’ a woman will begin to prioritise more of the ‘provisioning’ aspects within a man to begin to prioritise creating a family. ‘Provisioning value’ in men is identified as things like compassion, empathy, kindness and having a good job etc.

On my last post I describe the male social dominance hierarchy which includes the following members: Alpha’s, sigma’s, beta’s, gamma’s and omegas. Typically men of extremely high survival value are positioned at the top of pecking order for mate selection as this would ensure the survival of the species. Alphas possess the genetic component used for breeding a strong offspring which a woman’s hypergamous nature looks for in the parties years of 20 -25 years of age. Typically around a woman’s years of 26 – 35 she will be begin focus her attention on more beta-orientated provisioning value used for making a healthy stable family.

R & K selection theory: 

This is a term that came of out biology used to describe the breeding styles of certain organisms. K selection strategy is based on more monogamous styles of pair-bonding where the breeding and relationship style is designed for more of the longterm parental investment. R selected strategies are more based on polyamory and having multiple short-term partners.

This a great analogy to describe the beta and alpha dichotomy.  The high provisioning value orientated beta’s demonstrate a more K selection breeding strategy where as the high survival value alphas demonstrate more the R selected breeding strategy.  Being aware of what R/K selection operating system your personality is geared towards might showcase what type of partner you keep attracting.

K selected men typically will always attract partners who desire to have a long term investment with them and will rarely have a 1 night stand with them. Where if a woman is in her prime between 20 – 25 and a male suitor is conveying higher levels of dominance, status, social confidence etc she will more likely have a one night stand with him based on his mating strategy is aligned with her mating strategy at that current moment in time.

Being aware of this inter-sexual dynamic can help you work on certain character traits what might be lagging if you’re a man looking for some short-term partners. This might inspire you to work on rebuilding strong self-esteem, social skills and becoming more assertive etc to increase the probability of gaining a mate who also may want a short-term fling rather than a 13 year relationship and a family.


Hope you have enjoyed this blog post

Go forth and may your power be legendary

Joshua Leo Stuart



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